Getting Down and Dirty on Earth Day

I have an attitude problem, some of you may have noticed. I also have a short fuse, some of you may have noticed that too. Throw in a long weekend of travel and partying, and well, things can get ugly real fast.

Seeing as I've been out of town for the above mentioned long weekend, and the fridge looked like the Three Bears had taken up residence, I went out on a noontime run to the store for some food. I try to avoid as many traffic lights as possible, so I was taking a side road. My best friend from high school used to live on this side street, so I am well acquainted with the fact that there are stop signs on each block of its entire length.

As I approached the end of the block, slowing with my foot on the brake, a woman driving through the intersection, blows her horn at me and screams at me that I was going through the stop sign. She shouldn't have done that.

Being tired, cranky and in no mood for this bitch to wrongly accuse me, instead of going straight and on my way, I made a quick right and pulled up along side of her... which put me on the wrong side of the road. I proceeded to ask her what the fuck was her problem, and she told me I wasn't stopping. SHE was telling ME what I was doing. Way wrong thing to say.  The Jersey came out fast and I tell you, it was true poetry. In a well constructed few paragraphs, I do believe I utilized my entire catalog of expletives. She tried in vain to compete, even saying something about the town she was from, which was a rich bitch community, not the down and dirty town I live in. At that point I told her where to go, and it wasn't the rich bitch town she was from.

Road rage... I think not. Just a little taste of "I don't take that shit from nobody." I pulled away, she looked terrified, my work was done.

Maybe being down south for a few days, where everyone is polite and shit, caused some serious attitude repercussions for me. Or maybe it's just me getting back in the Jersey groove. Whatever.

It is what it is.

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A Mall Shooting: Does It Matter That It Could Have Been Worse?

I wanted to go to the mall today.

Now I don't go shopping very often, I don't have the time, mindset or cash to spend the day going from store to store. But a shoe store was closing and there were to be some good deals. I was mainly going for a specific walking shoe, a half-shoe that you just slip into, because as some of you know and I've written about here, I don't tie shoelaces. So this store makes those shoes and I need a pair, so off to the mall I was going.

But the best laid plans are sometimes screwed up. The mall is closed today. Last night just before closing, a troubled young man took a gun into the mall, shot off several rounds, caused panic for all those still inside, and hours later was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

It seems his intention all along was suicide, and apparently he threatened none of the shoppers. But he could have. It's just another instance when our safety is threatened and our sense of security is destroyed.

This mall, I believe is the largest in New Jersey. It wasn't always that way. When I first remember it as a kid, it was an open-air mall anchored by Bamberger's, which would become Macy's, at one end, and Gimbel's at the other. Over the years, it was enclosed and it grew and grew and grew. It is now massive. So was the police response last night. The helicopter camera shot easily showed over a hundred law enforcement cars from every agency in the area. A terrifying sight in a place I have been to a thousand times.

Today, I won't be at the mall, probably not tomorrow either. But as the retail business gears up for the holidays, how many people will be thinking twice about going through those doors.

Sometimes this world is not a nice place.

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This Is What Happens When You Don't Have Time... Or Patience

In Jersey, sometimes we get a bad rap. They say we're loud, obnoxious, rude and crass, among other things. Yeah, so what of it? Mostly we are just impatient, everything else is a by-product of "I don't have time for this shit."

For example, two recent incidents in New Jersey drive home this point to the extreme. The first involved two rival shuttle bus drivers and a baseball bat. It seems that one of the bus drivers felt the other one was muscling in on his territory and decided to take things into his own hands. See this is almost Jersey law; if you muscle in on my territory, I'm gonna use a little muscle on you. Unfortunately law enforcement doesn't view it quite the same way, so they came and hauled away both the bat and the guy swinging it. So how does this involve impatience? Well, obviously the way this should have been handled was with batman talking to his superiors about a severe breach of etiquette. But who has time for that shit? No, it's much easier to just pull out the bat that is stashed behind the seat (what? you all don't have a bat stashed behind the seat?) and smack the other guy upside the head. Problem solved quickly. Except when the other guy calls the cops as he is running away from the bat.

The second incident involves three drunks, a deli and a chicken. See, after getting toasted in one of the neighborhood bars, the three stooges realized they were hungry. "I gots to get me some chicken" was the battle cry. So they go to the nearest deli where the counter worker informs the tipsy trio that there was no more chicken to be had. After all it was 7:30 pm and pretty close to quitting time. Oh man, who has time for this shit? No chicken, don't tell me that. Now, most normal people would have just ordered a ham sandwich at that point, but not these guys. No, the brains of the outfit decides to pull a knife on the deli worker. Too bad he didn't realize there was another worker in the deli, and he was on the phone calling the police. Cops for sure, have no patience when inebriated idiots pull out knives.

Axl Rose sang it best. "All we need is just a little patience." But then, he didn't live in Jersey.

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Sandy: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Been up since 4:30. Already the wind was picking up.

At this point almost three hours later, the winds seems around 30 mph sustained. The time has passed for preparation, it's now nail-biting time. We've all been through hurricanes before, this one is different.

It appears that Sandy has an agenda, and New Jersey is the center of the bulls-eye. The shore towns have been evacuated; only fools remain to ride this one out. All transit systems are shut down. New York City's Times Square is empty. Only my local convenience store is open this morning. Love those guys.

I live three blocks from the Passaic river. It floods...though in this area, infrequently. Upriver and downriver, the destruction caused by the Passaic is well documented on news reports and insurance claims. During Hurricane Irene last year, the river overflowed its banks and was a block and a half away, before slowly receding. I think tomorrow it might be even closer.

There hasn't yet been a drop of rain, so the emotion I feel most is one of impatience. Let's get it over with already and deal with it head-on. Not looking forward to the inevitable loss of power, and really dreading the dog walks in hurricane force winds. If she gives me one of those "I don't want to be out here"  looks, I'll be sure to remind her that I'm not happy about it either.

Time to run the flat iron through my hair. We may not have power for a few days and well...priorities.

Stay safe.

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