Robin Williams, From Laughter to Tears

He made me laugh.

He made me laugh harder than anyone ever. He made me laugh to the point where I couldn't catch my breath. And now he's made me cry.

As the first tweet came across last night, I hoped it was another internet hoax, but with the quote from the police, the report from his agent, and the sad words from his wife, it was apparently true.

He was brilliant, watching him doing standup or acting in a film, there was no question he made great use of the voices inside his head. Unfortunately there were the dark voices too. We all have them, when you interact with writers and creative people as much as I do, you realize how many people struggle every day to live alongside them.

I am not a huge movie person, but I will watch "The Birdcage," every time it's on to see him interact with Nathan Lane. And there was "Comic Relief," the charity event he did with Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal every year. The improvs between Billy and Robin were so ridiculously surreal, there were times when Whoopi looked as if she was holding on for dear life. But it was Robin who was trying to hold on.

My uncle took his own life several years ago, and until then I hadn't really thought about how suicide affects everyone who knew the person. It shakes you down to your core and makes you question things you knew as the truth. How could we not have seen it coming? How did his heart become so dark that he could not see that he was loved.... that he mattered to us.

Within an hour after his death was reported last night, social media lit up. It seemed 99.9% of the tweets and Facebook postings coming across were expressions of grief. It continued that way for hours. His genius touched the world as a whole, but it touched every one of us as well.

Life is a balance. Was the pain Robin Williams endured through his lifetime the price he paid for the genius of his work? We can't know. We can only graciously accept all he gave us and hope his pain is gone.

"“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”... Robin Williams

Depression Lies. Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

Easy journey Robin.

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Junior Seau: Another Sad Ending

You just never know what's going on in someone's mind. Sadly, that fact became evident again yesterday as we learned of the apparent suicide of  former NFL linebacker Junior Seau.

The words of San Diego Charger Coach Norv Tuner, who worked with Seau, stated the feelings we will hear from so many more friends, colleagues and family member in the days to come.


"I have no words to describe the passing of Junior Seau," Turner said. "It is a sad, sad day not only for me but for the whole sports community. . . . I can tell you no one had more character and true leadership ability than Junior. He brought passion to the game of football that was unmatched.


"His commitment to charitable causes in the community was inspiring. It was an honor to know him. My thoughts and prayers are with his family."


But in the end... we will never know where the dark thoughts began or why they would lead to his final decision.

Last year we had a suicide in our family. The effect is profound and long-lasting. There was a tweet this morning from @shanethevein which said "Killing yourself doesn't end the pain. It passes it on to others."


So very true.


To read about my personal experience with the death of my uncle, please read:
"The Word Which Changes Everything: Suicide" on Yahoo Voices.


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Tears For A Stranger

Today my heart breaks and my soul cries...for a man I never met, and for the dog he loved more than life itself.

In a suicide note, New Yorker Nick Santino wrote "Today I betrayed my best friend and put down my best friend.  Rocco trusted me and I failed him.  He didn't deserve this."

Rocco was Nick's pit bull and rather than give him up, he put him down.  After giving away all of his dogs possessions and food, Nick then took his own life.  His condo had adopted a regulation prohibiting ownership of pit bulls and even though Rocco was "grandfathered in," accounts say he was constantly being harassed about the dog.

Nick apparently, did not have the easiest of lives...it seems that Rocco was his life.  Of course there are always more reasons than what is obvious, when someone takes their life...but as a dog owner, I can understand the bond, especially when he is all you have.

Rocco has been cremated, Nick will be as well.  Their ashes will be buried together.  In the end Nick will get in death what he wanted so much in life...to be with his best friend.

If there are no dogs in heaven, I don't want to go.