Snow? NO.

It's snowing. Again.

Yes, we're all bitching about the weather. We are sick of it. After the the first snowfall, everyone goes out to shovel and there is a great camaraderie between the neighbors. Everyone smiles and talks as we take short breaks between moving another few shovelfuls of snow. You know, those breaks that you hope will keep your rapidly aging heart from exploding.

After a few storms, neighbors get a lot less neighborly. We're tired. We are not happy to be outside lifting another six, eight, ten inches of snow. And while the first couple of storms had nice light, fluffy snow, the last two have been wet, heavy snow. You know the kind... the snow that puts even more strain on your rapidly aging heart.

Now the neighbors barely grunt at each other as we push, plow and pile the snow higher and higher. If we were in the middle of a summer's heat wave, and the temperatures were in the 90's this much, people would be freaking out and beating the crap out of each other. We are at a breaking point, and if we weren't so damn exhausted, I'm sure there would be violence. But, who has the time or energy for that?

So now we wait for the lull in the storm to start cleaning up, because this one is a two-parter. Oh yeah, it's gonna come down all day, stop for a while, then start again sometime tonight, which means there has to be a plan. When do we start cleaning? Do we wait for it to be entirely done? Well, it might turn to rain for a brief period before turning back to snow, so that makes it even heavier. But, if it turns to ice after you clear the snow, well that's another can of worms. It always ends up to be an audible on the field. You go with your gut, there is an inner voice which yells out "hey, time to get your ass outside."

That's when you see all the neighbors digging out of their houses, all about to take on the same task as you. At this point, I doubt there will even be eye contact.

This Is What Happens When You Listen To A Rodent

Are y'all happy now? Just like every year, you put your faith in a freakin' rodent. And most years his prognosticating is ignored after two or so weeks have passed. But not this year. This year the furball screwed up big time and no one is too happy about it.

Did I mention how much I hate Ground Hog Day? I once knew someone born on February 2nd and always thought with the exception of being born on February 29th, there wasn't a worse birth date. Because it's all about the ground hog.

This year the Pennsylvania rodent, the one who seems to have the most clout, was yanked out of his nice warm home and waved around like a grand prize in county fair. Where's PETA when you need them? Well the human idiots in their long coats and big hats decided that Phil had seen his shadow. Or maybe he didn't, but anyway, the human idiots declared that spring was right around the corner.

So here we are on March 24 and it's snowing like a bastard over half of the country and I will be shoveling the white stuff tomorrow. Happy I am not.

Apparently neither is Michael Gmoser, an Ohio county prosecutor, who has filed an injunction against poor old Phil for the misrepresentation of an early spring. He goes on to state that the rodent has committed an unclassified felony when he emerged from his burrow and didn't see his shadow. Or maybe he did.

Are you fuckin kidding me? This prosecutor is wasting court time with this? First of all, Phil didn't do anything, it was the human idiots doing their yearly grandstanding. They should be held liable for any ill-advised weather reporting. Or better yet, why don't we all just get lives and let Phil live his in peace and quiet.

If we would stop thinking a sleeping ground hog held the balance of a few weeks of our lives in his rodent hands, we could just go back to listening to the real weather forecasters with all their radar and dopler and forecast models. Because they're always right.... er, no they suck too.

Oh just look out the damn window. See any flakes yet?