And Then She Asked: Did You Hear What Michael Douglas Said?

Today I needed to take my mother to run a quick errand, no big deal. Very uneventful, very mundane... until.

Photo by David Azia

Until she decided to talk to me about Michael Douglas getting throat cancer from oral sex. OK, let's back up. My mother is 83 years old. My mother never talked to me about sex when I was a kid, today she's all chatty about not just any kind of sex, but yes, a little cunnilingus. Awkward, ya think much?

Just for the record, my mother does not care whether or not Mr. Douglas was dining at the Y. Her problem was with whether he got it from his wife, and if he did... why would he tell the world about it. And if he didn't get it from his wife... well that's another story isn't it?

I did my best to keep the conversation as close to the basics as I could, and used the advice of my bestie who always says "less is best." I figured she had her mind made up as to what she was gonna say, and all I could think of was the line from Animal House when John Belushi is ranting about the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor

Yep, forget it, she was rolling.

The quarter mile ride home was like being in the Indy 500, without the speed. It took forever and we went around in circles.

So I just wanted to send a quick thank you to Michael Douglas for the opportunity to spend a few minutes having an in-depth talk with my mother on a topic which rarely makes it into an everyday conversation with friends.

But as usual, Mom was right. Mr Douglas, why would you discuss this in public? Something about this just smells a little ...fishy.

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