No Kidding Around

Not these Kids

I don't have kids.

I may have mentioned that a hundred or more times, but in case any of you may have forgotten, I don't. Never wanted them, not a kid person, give me a dog any day of the week. Oh zip it all you parents looking down your noses, I believe we should all... in the words of Dirty Harry, "know our limitations."

I know mine, and it was never gonna be wiping someone else's ass for two years. And while that was indeed something that entered my mind many times when I was young enough to consider having kids, it was more of the knowledge of really not being cut out for it, and not able to cope with the 24/7, 365 day, twenty year commitment.

I did however become a step-monster of a fourteen-year old a shitload of years ago. I was lucky, he was great. Love and respect were never an issue, and I could not be more proud of the man he has become. That kiddo is now thirty-nine, and will soon become a father. This makes me a sort of step-grandmonster. Sort of.

Now the family is pretty small, but what we do have are some extras. As in the step kind. So the question has come up on what we all want to be known as when the baby, who won't be showing up until the spring, gets around to talking to us. oy.

Now those of you who know me can stop laughing right now. We all know some little crumb crusher calling me Granny ain't never gonna happen. I thought I remembered Joan Rivers saying when her grandson was born she wanted to be called Queen. Since the nickname I've embraced for many years has been Queen Bitch, it seemed a possible option.

Then it came to me; I could really dig being in a store with this barely walking toddler and he or she calls out "Hot Stuff." Hell yeah. The parents-to-be seemed to be the only ones who thought this was not an unthinkable option... and that's why I love them both. Oh and my beautiful niece thought it was cool too... but then she always thought I was a kick-ass aunt.

Most others thought it would be too hard for the baby to pronounce. I don't. So unless we can come up with something just as fabulous, Hot Stuff it is. This step-grandmonster is gonna rock.

Just saying.

Oh Baby

Just a short little post this morning about one of the many things that annoy me.

I love getting the feeds where you find out quickly all that is new and happening and exciting. You get everything that might be of interest to you, and it saves so much time. So you see a story you might be interested in and click on it. In my case this morning, it was an article about the most popular kids names of 2013.

aw, how cute.

I don't have kids, at my age I'm not all that interested in reading all the parenting advice out there, and I grow weary of seeing 10,00 photos of happy, sad, cake-covered, sleeping, crying, and yes, even swimming babies. Don't send me email, it is what it is. I make no apologies. There was a reason I chose not to have kids and that is... they don't really excite me. There I've said it. If I kind of know you, I'll take a look at your pics, but if I really don't, please don't take offense, it's not your child... it's me.

Anyway, aside from not having a interest in most things child-like, I have always been fascinated by what names are popular. I don't know why. So today I get a link to the most popular baby names of 2013 and I am interested enough to take a look. And then I see it. It's a damn slideshow... of names. Twenty-two slides of ten girls and ten boys names. Which leaves two extra for what I assume will be advertising. These are the days when I miss reading a newspaper. Can you not just give me a list? I don't have the time or honestly, that much interest to go through twenty-two slides.

So instead of clicking through twenty-two slides of twenty names, I closed it out and decided to come over here and bitch about it. I figure at some point that list may show up on the news or another website where I can just scroll down and see them.

Or if any of you find it, just send it over. I'll be sitting here looking at something that's much easier to read. Probably not child-related.

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