This Is What Happens When You Listen To A Rodent

Are y'all happy now? Just like every year, you put your faith in a freakin' rodent. And most years his prognosticating is ignored after two or so weeks have passed. But not this year. This year the furball screwed up big time and no one is too happy about it.

Did I mention how much I hate Ground Hog Day? I once knew someone born on February 2nd and always thought with the exception of being born on February 29th, there wasn't a worse birth date. Because it's all about the ground hog.

This year the Pennsylvania rodent, the one who seems to have the most clout, was yanked out of his nice warm home and waved around like a grand prize in county fair. Where's PETA when you need them? Well the human idiots in their long coats and big hats decided that Phil had seen his shadow. Or maybe he didn't, but anyway, the human idiots declared that spring was right around the corner.

So here we are on March 24 and it's snowing like a bastard over half of the country and I will be shoveling the white stuff tomorrow. Happy I am not.

Apparently neither is Michael Gmoser, an Ohio county prosecutor, who has filed an injunction against poor old Phil for the misrepresentation of an early spring. He goes on to state that the rodent has committed an unclassified felony when he emerged from his burrow and didn't see his shadow. Or maybe he did.

Are you fuckin kidding me? This prosecutor is wasting court time with this? First of all, Phil didn't do anything, it was the human idiots doing their yearly grandstanding. They should be held liable for any ill-advised weather reporting. Or better yet, why don't we all just get lives and let Phil live his in peace and quiet.

If we would stop thinking a sleeping ground hog held the balance of a few weeks of our lives in his rodent hands, we could just go back to listening to the real weather forecasters with all their radar and dopler and forecast models. Because they're always right.... er, no they suck too.

Oh just look out the damn window. See any flakes yet?

Oh Sandy Girl...Hurricane Watch Begins

So this is how it's going to be for the next five, count 'em, days. Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, sports, Sandy, Sandy.

As I watched the NY local news at 4:30 this morning, every station had a reporter out on some beach talking about the the hurricane. The storm, Hurricane Sandy, is not predicted to hit this area until Monday-Tuesday. Every station. A beach. Four-thirty in the morning...in the dark.

There were no winds blowing sand in the reporter's faces (one of my personal favorites), no shots of the surf eroding the beach, there was NOTHING. It's four freakin' thirty and pitch black. So what is the point of dragging every low level reporter in town out of bed at some ungodly hour to stand on a beach...in the dark.

And, it's just beginning. As the storm pulls into south Florida, our local news will be teaming up with the Miami affiliates and we will see their reporters standing on the beach looking around, showing the waves begin to rise, the idiots still trying to surf and the stranded tourists who thought it would be a kick to experience a damn hurricane.

Already they are putting everyone into panic mode. I need to go to Shop Rite later for my usual weekend shopping trip. It's gonna be a zoo. The store manager is sure to have a smile on his face as he sees the pallets  of bottled water go sailing out of the store. Big news.

At some point, I'm sure they will send a reporter out to cover it.

Most likely before the store opens.

.