Grammy Nominations in Real Time

So it's a strange thing to be watching the Grammy Award nominations when you actually have some horses in the race. Realistically we may have one or two long shots, and the categories they are in won't be announced until after the show.

So the opening was a whole lot of... what? Do we really need all that visual and audio stimulation and... clothes racks onstage.

Can they make the graphics for the nominees any harder to read? And wtf was Ed Sheeran saying? I will say Swifty didn't annoy me as much as she usually does, but I still don't understand the need for all the drama onstage. Keith and Miguel did serious justice to "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone," though Keith losing his long hair was distressing to say the least.

Maybe after hearing it so much I'm just numb, but Katy Perry was ok and she didn't have a troop of dancers behind her, so that's a vast improvement over most of the entertainers.

Oh look, there's Lorde and she's just singing. What a freakin' concept. No clothes racks, no dancing armies, just singing. Please god, let it be the next big thing.

And what would the evening be without "Blurred Lines?" Actually done well, minus Miley this time.

The show is over and I just looked through the entire list and we weren't nominated. But we worked our butts off to get a record company launched and have several of our artists accepted onto the Grammy ballot. Earth Hertz Records, we are just starting to tell our story. You better believe it.

Miley, You've Got Some 'Splaining To Do

I am aware that I am not in the demographic to enjoy or even understand what the hell the VMAs are all about. Let's face it, I haven't been in the demographic for MTV in 25 years. But I try, really I do.

Credit: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Last year I tolerated about 18 minutes, this year I managed 40 before Kanye convinced me that local news of murder and mayhem was less agitating than he was. I don't know what happened later with JT and the Boys, whether Katy roared that godawful song or who won the awards. I think after watching Miley (what the hell were you thinking) Cyrus, I was numb.

Artistic freedom you say? I say, sure, but use it wisely. Be sexy and raw, don't make people cringe in their seats. Look at the audience. They were either bored or unable to watch. Did you see Rihanna's face? You may have jumped the shark when the barometer of bad taste is disgusted.

So let's just try to figure it out. First the tongue. I am baffled trying to grasp what image she was trying to project. Sexy? Not even close. The furries aspect was more than a little disturbing and then there was the foam finger. When she ended up with it in her mouth, after seeing where it had been, I was thinking some penicillin might be a good idea.

The one good thing about the broadcast was I learned a new word. Twerking. As the tweets were coming across fast and furious last night, I kept seeing the word twerk. It seems they call it a dance move, to me it more closely resembles simulated sex. Anyway, Miley got in an assload of twerking, that's for sure.

It was horrifying to think of the parents sitting on the living room sofa with their kids watching this abomination. Watching porn on a first date in a roomful of strangers would be less uncomfortable than Miley and her fickle finger of self-fornication.

Sexually overt notwithstanding, the entire number was just bad. She looked terrible, her movements defied explanation and she turned off nearly everyone who watched her.

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity. In this case, I'm not so sure.

Time to rethink your career choices Miley.

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