Saturday, February 16, 2013

North Carolina's Important State Breast-a-Stature

I just came across this story and if had been the night before I was scheduled to post on sprocketink, I would have posted it there. But this is just too damn tasty to postpone.

We all know that Congress has so much work to do. They have saved us temporarily from the "fiscal cliff" and have to work on healthcare issues, immigration laws, and gay marriage. So many important issues to legislate. You would think that even on the state level there are issues so important that they demand immediate attention. So what pieces of critical legislation are the state representatives of North Carolina introducing? We've all heard the drunken battle cry "show us your tits." Well, if this bill not anymore, unless you want to spend up to six months in jail. Six months for a wardrobe malfunction.

Yes, yes, Rep. Rayne Brown (R) has co-sponsored House Bill 34, which would make it a Class H felony to expose "external organs of sex and of excretion, including the nipple, or any portion of the areola, of the human female breast." CLASS H FELONY. Apparently Rep. Brown was not happy when they decided in Asheville to hold their second annual topless rally for women's equal rights. Last year's event drew about a dozen women. Twelve women, twenty-four breasts, well hell yeah, let's stop that shit right now.

Ok, so the felony count is if someone over 18 shows a little too much to someone under 16 for the purpose of getting the 16 year old a little, shall we say happy. But really, do we need another piece of legislation making it easy to lock you up for something just popping out?

It may be time to organize another rally. Better do it soon before they "nip" it in the bud.


  1. And what the fuck - the passage of a bill like this would effectively ban public breastfeeding as well. My daughter did not allow covering when we were nursing, baby, and my tits are the size of fucking islands. So you better believe you saw my nipples and ex-goddamned-cretions. Fuck.

    1. actually you might have been ok. there is an exclusion for breastfeeding. if they hadn't put that in, there would likely have been a few more than 12 women protesting.

  2. u are kidding,what is wrong with these idiots?are there not more important issues for our legislators to deal with?where do u find this shit