This Is What Happens When You Don't Have Time... Or Patience

In Jersey, sometimes we get a bad rap. They say we're loud, obnoxious, rude and crass, among other things. Yeah, so what of it? Mostly we are just impatient, everything else is a by-product of "I don't have time for this shit."

For example, two recent incidents in New Jersey drive home this point to the extreme. The first involved two rival shuttle bus drivers and a baseball bat. It seems that one of the bus drivers felt the other one was muscling in on his territory and decided to take things into his own hands. See this is almost Jersey law; if you muscle in on my territory, I'm gonna use a little muscle on you. Unfortunately law enforcement doesn't view it quite the same way, so they came and hauled away both the bat and the guy swinging it. So how does this involve impatience? Well, obviously the way this should have been handled was with batman talking to his superiors about a severe breach of etiquette. But who has time for that shit? No, it's much easier to just pull out the bat that is stashed behind the seat (what? you all don't have a bat stashed behind the seat?) and smack the other guy upside the head. Problem solved quickly. Except when the other guy calls the cops as he is running away from the bat.

The second incident involves three drunks, a deli and a chicken. See, after getting toasted in one of the neighborhood bars, the three stooges realized they were hungry. "I gots to get me some chicken" was the battle cry. So they go to the nearest deli where the counter worker informs the tipsy trio that there was no more chicken to be had. After all it was 7:30 pm and pretty close to quitting time. Oh man, who has time for this shit? No chicken, don't tell me that. Now, most normal people would have just ordered a ham sandwich at that point, but not these guys. No, the brains of the outfit decides to pull a knife on the deli worker. Too bad he didn't realize there was another worker in the deli, and he was on the phone calling the police. Cops for sure, have no patience when inebriated idiots pull out knives.

Axl Rose sang it best. "All we need is just a little patience." But then, he didn't live in Jersey.

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