Dad's Journey: Another Day, Another Issue

Leaving the nursing home last night, I cried for the first time as I drove home. It was not a good visit with my Dad.

What awaits us today is anybody's guess.  I believe he is in his third week at this facility, exactly how long I can't remember. Along with my father's deterioration, my mind has also declined. Focus is increasingly difficult and forgetfulness is a new best friend. They hang out with my other two new acquaintances: exhaustion and irritability.

With each day, Dad is more depressed. With each day, he withers away a little more. With each day, I see him losing the fight. It now seems everyday there is a new condition to deal with.  A blood clot, a urinary tract infection, erratic bodily functions, wild swings of blood pressure...and of course the disease.

Last night he seemed like a stoke victim, could not stay awake and could barely speak. Whether it was a physical problem or something caused by new meds, must be determined. Living a long time does not make dying any easier.

As I sat with him, I could remember it wasn't so long ago when this wonderful man who can no longer understand the up or down position on the bed remote, could move with the agility of a man twenty years younger. Now, all I think about is how many more days, weeks or months he must endure this existence.

Today will be the first day I dread going to see him.

Love you Pops.

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Taking Time To Give Thanks

During the course of a lifetime, there are so many things we take for granted. Family, health and time...being the top three. Last night I was able to remind myself that none of the three is a given.

Spent the evening with some old friends who had moved quite a distance away some years ago...mainly I believe for a better climate for one of them.  As it turns out, that was a great decision. Physically, she is in so much better condition than the last time I saw her, it is astounding. Better lifestyle and better living through pharmacology.

On the other hand, her husband developed a life-threatening and life-changing illness. The road has been long and difficult, but hopefully the worst is behind him. In any case, this previously imposing figure is now a shadow of what he was. But he is the same wonderful man with a dry sense of humor, and a man who always brings a smile to my face.

As we sat around my brother's dining room table eating Chinese takeout, the talk never really addressed the illness that is the 800 lb. gorilla in the room. We didn't need to. We all know what he had gone through, what lies ahead and what we don't know might lie ahead.

No, last night was just a chance to see the faces that, just like ours, have changed so much over the years. A time to drink a glass a wine and to share a meal. A simple night, with simple conversation. A time to catch up and enjoy the trash talk and humor which defines our "family."

A time to remember that family, health and time are not to be taken for granted. They are to be taken as gifts meant to be appreciated daily.

This is my way of giving thanks.

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Keeping In Shape: It's More Than Flat Abs

We all know what going to the gynecologist entails.  Basically a bit of pressing, a little pushing and a lot of probing...all in a position that would normally take place...well, while you are having a lot more fun.

I've only had two gyn's in my life.  My first was a wonderful, gentle man who, while he examined you, would speak in a very soft voice.  Not a good-looking man (always glad about that), I never really knew much about his life.  But he would always ask about mine.  And tell me what I should do to make the part of it he was involved in ...well more enjoyable.  And here I thought I was doing just fine.

He passed away a few years ago and I now go to a female gyn.  While I was a little weirded out at first, it really is a much more comfortable situation.  She is outgoing, younger and a think she might actually enjoy having sex.

As I arrived for my appointment yesterday, I had no real concerns over my health.  All the moving parts seem to be functioning correctly and I feel better than I have in a long time.  So when the Dr. said I was in really good shape for my age, I smiled as I was looking at the ceiling.  Then I looked at her and realized she was speaking not about my overall body...but actually one specific area....yeah...there.  Who knew it could get out of shape?  And does getting out of shape there mean too much use...or too little?  I probably should have asked, but I was kind of stunned at that moment.

As I got dressed, I was still thinking about her comment...but sure as hell felt pretty good about myself.  So ladies, apparently there is more to taking care of yourself...than meets the eye.  

Use it or lose it?  You decide.