"Bearly" Cool Enough for a Walk

Waking up before six on a Saturday is not my favorite thing, but it happens often so you get used to it. Knowing how much is on my plate today, there was no thought of trying to fall back to sleep. As usual at the weekend house, the dog is already awake and waiting patiently at the top of the stairs for me to start moving.

After what seemed to be weeks of 90 degree plus weather, this morning in the mountains is in the low 70's. Taking the dog for her morning walk with the temperature not in the 80's for a change, was worth waking at an early hour. As we walked down the driveway, I saw two doe, each mother with her twin spotted fawns. A little up the road a few more deer. It seems they know today will be another day close to one hundred degrees, and have decided to have an early breakfast. By the heat of the afternoon, they will be resting on the leaves that have almost turned to mulch out where the woods are thick.

Two blocks up we make a right turn to go down a circular block which is right on the lake. There is an acre or two of woods which is a designated wetlands area. It's also an area of a bear den. Knowing that, my eyes always scan the woods and the trees before I walk down. Everything looked fine... to me. A few steps down and the dog stopped, ears shot straight up and she growled and barked and growled and barked.

Well, I don't know about you, but when an animal senses something that you can't see... I'll trust the instinct that nature provided to all her creatures great and small. It was time to think of a different route this morning. Now I never did see the bear, but the house closest to the area did have their garbage nicely strewn across their front lawn, so he or she wasn't far away.

Back at the house, it's time for a cup of tea, a little time to write this and then it's time to disappear into a world of research and writing. I'll "bearly" have time for anything else.

Still, it's a new morning, a day of promise and new challenges.

 And air conditioning set at icy blast.

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FaceBook: I Am Not Your Friend

About a week ago I did something which still sends chills up my spine every time I think about it...

I started a personal FaceBook page. ugh.

Now, I have had a FB page for Kat's Theory for a little while, but that was as a brand...not a person. All I basically have on there are my blogs, and other stuff I've written that is published online. Fine, not much interaction...it was just a tool. But then I started writing at SprocketInk.com, and they have a group FB page where they throw ideas around, discuss any issues which may come up and basically make fun of each other. Well, dammit, I was missing out on all that fun because of the type of page I had. So I gave in. ugh.

Now, while I have enjoyed the interaction with my fellow Sprockets, holy shit, who are all these people I don't know wanting to be my friend?

I hate FB, though hate is really not a strong enough word. Just how invasive it is astounds me every day. While it has been nice to reconnect with a few people I lost track of along the way, friends of friends of friends, and friends of acquaintances...well, I'm not interested and I really don't have the time to sift through family pictures, advice and gossip of people I don't know.

So people, here are Kat's Rules for FB:

1. If I don't know you, I'm not gonna be your friend.
2. Even if I do know you, I may not be your friend. I am basically on FB for one reason, unfortunately a lot of crap comes along with it. For my personal sanity, I need to keep it at a minimum.
3. If I am your friend, don't expect a lot of interaction. I may like something if it's humorous or interesting to me, but there will be no commenting on your kids snow pictures, family vacations or what level you are up to in Farmland. 

I don't mean to be rude, that is not my intention. I'm just really not all that interested in FB or people who have a connection to me three times removed. And you shouldn't be interested in me either. Trust me, there's not going to be anything juicy on my FB page.

And honestly, I don't think you would really "Like" me all that much anyway.

Thank you and have a nice day.

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A Shameful Post

Yeah, yeah...it's a new damn year.

As you can see, getting a better attitude was not on the list of resolutions. Or maybe it was and I have already failed. Whatever.

I don't really do resolutions. Last year I wrote a tongue in cheek look at what I hoped to attain in the coming year. Was I successful, well, I still have an attitude, I still laugh a lot, I still find joy in as much as I can and I still have a big problem backing down. Tough.

With the exception of losing my hero, this year wasn't bad. A bunch of new doors have opened for me, I've made a lot of great contacts, enjoyed a lot of live music and reconnected with some people who are very important in my life. It also means I'm a year older and the numbers I'm hitting ain't pretty.

So what's in store for 2013? Who the hell knows. I was just gonna laze around today and not even write until I started reading all my online peeps new posts. So I start my new year being shamed into writing. All things considered, I've been shamed into a lot worse.

Will I write a novel? Very doubtful...my attention span lately is more twitter-like than War and Peace. I will write short. Lately, I've been doing a lot of short. For someone who up to a couple of years ago, avoided an online footprint like the plague, I am now everywhere like dogshit crabgrass. I guess that's a good thing.

So thanks to all of you who have stopped by from time to time... personally I don't get it. I am grateful though. Hopefully I will continue to amuse, annoy or fill you with apathy for some time to come.

First of the year, one post written. And I didn't even have anything to say.

I guess you might have noticed that.
It is what it is.
Happy New Year.

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A Life Lesson on a Beautiful Day

Right now I'm supposed to be writing...just not a blog.

I'll get around to what I need to do a little later. But I just had a few thoughts about the day, so here I go.

Yesterday, as we drove up to the weekend house the weather danced between pouring rain and brightening skies. Through it all, we could see the colors of the season bursting out of the gray sky. By next weekend, many of the leaves will have dropped, leaving barren spots where the crimson red and marigold yellow used to be.

Across the river into Pennsylvania, the colors were still beautiful...until we made the turn up the last small hill before the house. In mileage, it's only 2/10 of a mile, but the elevation is just enough to create a different eco system. In spring when the snow throughout the community has melted, we will still have piles scattered around, refusing to fade away. Summer comes a little later and fall lasts a few short weeks. Today, only a few trees have any color left, mostly they have turned brown or are bare.

This morning as I caught up on posts from some of the other writers I follow, there was one which made me rethink my day. Now I spend most of the week working from home and most of my time in front of a computer. Weekends are usually spent up here in the mountains and I treasure every minute of it. But today, the plan was to spend most of the day again, in front of the computer. Until I read the post Curating a Bucket List on the Fly by Jonah Gibson.  Jonah has recently found out he has cancer, and unfortunately it is not his first trip down that road. With each series of tests, his diagnosis has become more ominous. His post reflected on his imaginary Bucket List and how useless and absurd it was. There is the distinct possibility there will be no time for everything he once thought had value. A life lesson to be sure.

Indeed, tomorrow is promised to no one, and we should all take each day for the gift that is offered. Today life offered me a beautiful day and the chance to breathe in fresh air as I walked around the lake. I greedily accepted the offering, and I am both mentally and physically recharged. There is a certain amount of discipline to have a writer's life. But there is also only a certain amount of life we have to live.

Thank you Jonah for reminding me of that.

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We Return You Now To Your Life

For the first time in months, there is a calmness in me.

The family drama is over; the words have all been spoken, the tears...well they still fall too frequently. But this morning I awoke with no immediate responsibilities; a free few hours to sort out the direction of the day.

To say I am behind is quite the understatement. Besides the two blogs, at his moment I have five projects in various states of readiness...or rather un-readiness. Today and tomorrow begins a game of catch-up. Let's just see how well I do. If I get three projects and the blogs done, I will be drinking champagne.

I'm hoping this calmness I feel is a sign my stress level is going down. For far too long I have been living like a volcano ready to erupt at any moment...and too often I did. It was no longer a case of being unable to suffer fools, I have been unable to tolerate most everyone. I have had one focus and most everything and everyone else was of little importance. I make no apologies for it. I did what I needed to do.

So now it is time to reclaim life.

It rained last night and washed away the heat and humidity. It's a breezy morning with the sun shining through the trees. A perfect day for a walk around the lake. Or writing and research.

Or a walk around the lake. Let me revise my expectations ...one blog and two projects...and a walk around the lake.

One blog done...definitely a walk around the lake.

Definitely.
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Oh, This Is Gonna Be Embarrassing

To write a blog, you definitely need to be able to laugh at yourself...because you know damn well everyone who reads it, is laughing at you. But that's the point; allow others to see what makes you tick...even if it isn't always your best side.

Now in the past few months, I've discussed my doctor's appointments, my roller coaster ride of getting some things accomplished when the outcome became more and more uncertain and as always, the good old aging process...which is never as pretty as Hollywood makes it out to be.

Today, you will see just how far someone can progress (hopefully you will think I've progressed) and laugh along with me...or at me. It is what it is.

Yesterday, while going through some music memorabilia, I came across a book of early samples of my writing. They were mostly poems, some prose and some miscellaneous lines which were never finished. And here's the thing...holy shit, they are shockingly BAD. Now granted most of them were from the ages of 10-13...a few from around 17 or so...but again; real bad.

Now in high school, I aced everything English. I had a side business writing term papers for my friends (oh did I just say that, oops), and my teachers encouraged my free-lance writing. Hell, I even had a column in the county newspaper with a picture & byline for my junior and senior years. But looking at these writings, it made me wonder why would I ever think to pursue it at any time of my life? Really bad.

So this morning, just for shits & giggles (at my expense, I might add), I am providing just a taste of what I thought was good enough to save...all those years ago. I can't begin to tell you how painful this is. Choosing which poem to print has been a long process...apparently not one well thought out..

"Tears can only shadow the fears that are to come
And though yesterday is far away, there still might be no sun.
So just rest your head, lay gently now
Let your thoughts be true and kind
Ease some times of tenderness into your peaceful mind.


Don't care for what the others say, their eyes are just like yours.
They see as far as you can see, and then they see no more.
So just settle down and find your soul, let your thoughts be true and kind.
Ease some times of tenderness into your peaceful mind.


So far away, I'll only say your love is in my heart.
And it hurts me so to have to know, how much longer we must part.
So wait for me and I'll be there, let your thoughts be true and kind
Ease some times of tenderness into your peaceful mind."


Well. Ok so maybe this wasn't the worst of all my writings, and I admit it might be better than some rap songs I've heard, but...not good alot (as we say in jersey).  So as you read my future blogs, remember how it all started.

Lots of rhymes, but what was the reason?
Not expecting a call from the Pulitzer committee any time soon.


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