It's Been a "Bear" of a Day

I gotta tell you, this day is starting off strangely. Maybe it has something to do with the black cat that ran in front of my car, as we drove into the lake community last night...

Woke up at 4:45, not unusual. After a quick minute with Mother Nature, went back to bed...not really expecting to fall back to sleep. But I did, and it was a 'you're gonna have a wild dream'  sleep.

At 6:15 I woke up again. The dream still vivid. An extremely large black bear was in my yard. This bear did not look like the normal black bear, which are normally chubby with fat necks. The dream bear was thinner with a very long neck...and really big.  And aggressive. Normally pretty docile, most bears will run away before they will confront you...unless there are baby bears involved. Well the dream bear appeared to be one large, pissed off male.

He looked at the firewood rack and knocked over the full cord. Oh man, somebody is gonna have to re-stack that wood and that someone won't be me. He then tangled with a wild turkey who had the bad luck of coming across one highly agitated Yogi. As I watched with my dog, she began to bark...instantly getting the bears attention. Instead of running away at the sound of the barking dog, the dream bear gave me the evil eye and started to walk in my direction. Shit scared...I woke up.

Time to walk the dog.

Now, the lake community has lots of wildlife: deer, hawks, giant woodpeckers, snapping turtles, wild turkeys and bears. We see the bears from time to time, but not on a daily basis. A few times during the summer is about it. Usually they are just bouncing through the yard or crossing the road. We've had one scary encounter with a momma bear and her two cubs...a story for another day

Normally when walking the dog early in the morning, I actively look for bears who are on their way home after a full night of foraging. This morning, I totally missed the small bear who was snacking on some household trash he had dragged into the woods. The dog however, did not.  As the dog barked wildly, the bear ran farther into the woods. The encounter was a little unnerving, but luckily this bear wanted no part of me or my crazy dog.

Was it a coincidence that 10 minutes after dreaming about a bear, I have a close encounter with one? Or, am I starting to acquire a new psychic ability? I can bearly contain my excitement.

If I could only dream of six numbers
...maybe tonight.

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An Animal Tale

Friday...getaway day. But not so fast. First had to take my mother to the oncologist...things seem to be good in that department, do banking for another cousin who is hospitalized, Shop Rite, bread store, gas, vegetable store and... a quick pop into CVS.

I really only needed some Advils for my ever present stress headache, but let's see what else is on sale. Now if I had remembered when I was in Shop Rite this excursion would be unnecessary, however let's face it, my brain is on overdrive these days.  Add in all those brain cells I've killed along the way...well, what was I saying?

Anyway, I ended up in the snack aisle...who doesn't? Now it's lunchtime, I know I have nothing in the house to eat, the food for the weekend is on ice in the car...just grab a bag of pretzels or something.  Passing the cookies, I see the old familiar box of Nabisco Animal Crackers. You know the one that looks like a circus car and has the string handle. Gee, I haven't had animal crackers in a really long time, why not.

Then I saw the price. Are you kidding me? $2.57 for a box of animal crackers. Shit, on sale in Shop Rite I can buy a whole bag of Oreo's (the most perfect cookie ever invented) for $2.50. Has the world really gone this insane? Of course, they are on a shelf which is low enough so every little kid that passes it will ask mommy to buy it. At $2.57. Crazy.

Needless to say, I bought some honey wheat pretzels and went on my way. As I am writing this. that bag of pretzels is getting empty. I just looked at the number of servings in this bag...3.5 oops my bad. Probably not the best lunchtime choice, but who the hell cares.

It's Friday, heading out to the lake and the mountain, a music night tomorrow and a chance to recharge those  brain cells that are only damaged..

I think I ate too many pretzels.

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My Dad's Journey: Six Weeks In

It seems, the while the bubble has not yet burst, it has developed a slow leak.

The past two weeks have been fair to good in my father's world. His therapy has been going well, his appetite has been enhanced through pharmacology and his motor skills had been improving. Until tonight.

My mother visited in the afternoon and things were good. By the time I arrived to spend dinnertime with him, things had gone decidedly downhill. Asleep when I arrived, he awoke with impaired speech and very little energy. After his vitals were taken the reason for his condition became clearer. His blood pressure had dropped to 91/55.  For a man who has battled hypertension the last 25 years, this change is extremely alarming.

Getting him to eat dinner was not as hard as I thought it would be, but it amazes me how his taste preferences have changed since he became a nursing home resident. Water, for example, was always drunk at room temperature. Once he became a patient, water needed to be cold...now cold drinks are on the shit list again.  Ice cream however, remains a perennial favorite. We try to bring him foods we think he would enjoy, to supplement the one-step-above-crap food he is served daily. At this point anything he eats is ok with us. He once weighed around 175, yesterday his weight was 108.  A UTI and thrush are the latest assaults on his tired body. Everyday, it seems there is another danger lurking.

While I haven't had another exceptional visit like the one I had when he was in the hospital, (Enjoying The Evening Light With My Dad) before being transferred to the nursing home, there have been many good visits. There have also been some very bad ones. Tonight was somewhere in the middle.

It was a rainy day today, kinda the way I felt inside.

Love you Pops.

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Victoria's Newest Secret

For the last few months, I have been receiving coupons in the mail from Victoria's Secret. $10 off any bra, so much off a specific dollar amount and oh yes...a coupon for a free pair of panties. Free, as in nada, nothing, take 'em and walk out...free. I like free. I do no longer like Victoria's Secret however.

Now there was a day when I would walk in and purchase an item or five. Those days, like the great woolly mammoth are long gone. Mainly, I can't get past all the garish colors. Occasionally, you will find me in a color other than black or grey, as in blue jeans or jewel-tone sweaters...but hot pink has never been in my wardrobe.

And then there's the prints. They give me a headache. Don't like them, don't wear them, I don't even want to see them.

So venturing into VS for any reason that will cost me money is not something I choose to do with any frequency.  But there is that FREE coupon. So the past few months the free coupon has expired before I had a chance to get to the mall to redeem it. Yesterday I found myself in a mall, with my coupon...all ready for a quick VS in and out procedure.

Since the coupon was for a specific type of panty, I just thought I would ask the cashier where I could find the free "booty."  Well, much to my surprise the female cashier was flanked by two guys, working on god knows what, but doing it while holding women's underwear. Since when did they start hiring young, tall, good looking men to work in a women's lingerie shop? Huh.

I asked one of the young men where I could find my freebie and he walked around the counter and escorted me the the right ones. Well how about that service. And as I picked out the color which most suited me...black, I was thinking about whether VS is now in the hook-up business. I mean these guys gotta get hit on on a daily, if not hourly basis. All these young...and a few older women coming in looking for sexy undergarments, asking questions to the male sales help. And who are these guys desiring to work there? hmm...an interesting new phenomenon has occurred.

After the female cashier asked if the free panties were the only thing I wanted today and I answered "yes," she kind of sneered at me. I couldn't care less. She wrapped my no-cost item in pink tissue paper and placed it in a tiny VS pink shopping bag. Done. In and out in five minutes.

Leaving the store, I wondered if this new guy selling underwear thing is in all the stores, or if I was just lucky to find the perfect one. I think I need to find out.

This may take some time and effort, but it's all in the name of research.

I hope they send me another free coupon next month.

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Looking for God in All the Wrong Places

I just saw a story about a woman who has seen Jesus... in the mold growing in her shower.

Yes indeed, Chyenna Richards from Houston is all over the news showing off what she perceives to be the face of Jesus growing what must be a longer beard everyday, right there in her filthy shower.

Now call me crazy, but if my shower has become some sort of biological experiment, I am not calling in the media for a look-see. I am running to the supermarket for the largest bottle of bleach available. Apparently Ms. Richards has no issue with living with one shitload of bacteria slowly crawling up her walls. AND, neither do her neighbors, who have called her house "blessed."  Are you kidding me...blessed.  I'm thinking I would call it disgusting, but I digress.

So here's my question. Just how long do you live in a toxic environment to protect this delusional vision? At some point either people are gonna start getting sick or...Jesus will start to become just one large black fungus.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Find God somewhere else and wash the damn walls.

In a comment, film critic Roger Ebert pondered whether the ebay sale prospects on the Jesus mold might be limited. That in itself is another sad commentary on the "I've seen the face of Jesus fill in the blank game."

Ok, listen up people. If Jesus is coming back...it ain't gonna be on a gross bathroom wall or a grilled cheese sandwich or a fish stick. Eat your food, clean your shower and do unto others...

Doesn't that just make a hell of a lot more sense?

Wow, isn't this an interesting potato chip...

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