Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Dumb, Dumber and World Class Dumb

People are idiots.

We all know this to be true, but in case you needed specifics...let's look at a few examples.

This first story would be truly laughable were it not so tragic. A man trying to create a Bigfoot sighting was killed as he stepped out onto a Montana highway dressed in a camouflage suit...at night. On a highway...in camouflage...at night. People, listen up now...do not try this at home. On a scale of 1 to 10 on WTF were you thinking chart, this blows up the machine.

Up next. Apparently in Utah wearing camouflage is not enough. Idiot #2 has been spotted climbing the mountains in a goat suit...yes a goat suit. It seems he is trying to get chummy with the wild goats in an attempt to be in a better position to hunt them once the goat hunting season begins. People, listen up now...I'm thinking the goats can tell a real goat from an idiot in a painter's uniform with fleece attached. And I ask Idiot #2, what happens if during hunting season you don't fool the goats, but you do fool another hunter? Next.

Idiot #3, Billings, Montana. Have you noticed a trend occurring in the Northwest? Story: One runaway cow and one idiot. The cow who most likely sensed her time was running out, broke free from the auction yards and basically did a Bonnie & Clyde (without Clyde) all over Montana's largest city...for an hour and a half. Well, after seeing a cop chase this cow down the street, a construction worker who said he had been around livestock his entire life, decided to intervene. Now I don't know about you, but if I see a 1200 pound animal charging at me, my first instinct is not going to be to try to wrangle it. Listen up people...the cow is gonna win that fight. After old Bessie tossed him into the air, the construction worker ended up with a broken leg and bruised ribs. Alas, poor Bessie ended up with a bullet in her heart. But before she died, she managed to knock a man off his bicycle.

It gives a whole new meaning to cow tipping.
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2 comments:

  1. I would've tipped that cow like $20 at least for putting that moron in his place. Seriously.

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  2. for $20, you might just get a steak from old Bessie.

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