Sunday, March 24, 2013

This Is What Happens When You Listen To A Rodent

Are y'all happy now? Just like every year, you put your faith in a freakin' rodent. And most years his prognosticating is ignored after two or so weeks have passed. But not this year. This year the furball screwed up big time and no one is too happy about it.

Did I mention how much I hate Ground Hog Day? I once knew someone born on February 2nd and always thought with the exception of being born on February 29th, there wasn't a worse birth date. Because it's all about the ground hog.

This year the Pennsylvania rodent, the one who seems to have the most clout, was yanked out of his nice warm home and waved around like a grand prize in county fair. Where's PETA when you need them? Well the human idiots in their long coats and big hats decided that Phil had seen his shadow. Or maybe he didn't, but anyway, the human idiots declared that spring was right around the corner.

So here we are on March 24 and it's snowing like a bastard over half of the country and I will be shoveling the white stuff tomorrow. Happy I am not.

Apparently neither is Michael Gmoser, an Ohio county prosecutor, who has filed an injunction against poor old Phil for the misrepresentation of an early spring. He goes on to state that the rodent has committed an unclassified felony when he emerged from his burrow and didn't see his shadow. Or maybe he did.

Are you fuckin kidding me? This prosecutor is wasting court time with this? First of all, Phil didn't do anything, it was the human idiots doing their yearly grandstanding. They should be held liable for any ill-advised weather reporting. Or better yet, why don't we all just get lives and let Phil live his in peace and quiet.

If we would stop thinking a sleeping ground hog held the balance of a few weeks of our lives in his rodent hands, we could just go back to listening to the real weather forecasters with all their radar and dopler and forecast models. Because they're always right.... er, no they suck too.

Oh just look out the damn window. See any flakes yet?



12 comments:

  1. Ha! Hahahaha! An injunction against a groundhog? That's awesome lol

    Woke up this morning to a winter wonderland here in Ohio. Ah well, there are pregnant robins too so I have hope. Spring eventually comes around :)

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    1. You're the second person this week to mention pregnant robins. Sounds like it could be quite a year for them. Hopefully it will be better than the ground hog's. Thanks for stopping by.

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    2. I wondered if it was snowing there, Pants and I figured it was the affirmative. After all, what is Easter in Ohio without snow, right? lol Kat, the hog blew it big time. We've got big, lovely flakes floating mockingly from the sadistic heavens. It's pretty, but WTH? My 6yo said to me "Yesterday it was Spring. What is it today?" Exactly, kiddo.

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    3. Well, I'm in Jersey and it's not snowing yet, any time now we expect several inches. and did I mention I'm getting too old for this shit. out of the mouths of babes.

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  2. Where's Carl Spackler? He'd handle that varmint poontang.

    I hope you've seen Caddyshack or this is really awkward.

    Saw that story and was shocked Sprocket hadn't been all over it. Dumb people being dumb.

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    1. yeah I've seen Caddyshack. hate that movie. don't know a woman who likes it. might have done it for sprocket but I decided to get all serious and shit today.

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  3. Snow is about to fall here in New York. I wanna punch that stupid rodent in the face.

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    1. still nothing in north jersey, so just calm the fuck down.

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  4. Haha, yeah i hate ground hog day too. He's always wrong. It's crazy! It's not snowing here but it is like 35* outside. I'm not happy about it either. I'm ready for spring! I'm stopping by from the Monday blog hop. I hope you have a great {Mon}day.

    Nikki
    www.TheCraftySideOfSarcasm.com

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    1. we all blame the rodent, but he's really only an innocent bystander. I do love when the handlers get bitten. the one on New York once bit the mayor... and the city rejoiced. Thanks for stopping by Nikki.

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  5. That's awesome and stupid. Really? An injunction? What will they (meaning stupid lawyers) think of next? Meanwhile we had snow, hail, sun and snow yesterday. So AWESOME! not. Thanks for the laughs, I think my joints make better forecasters than the talking heads.
    Swinging by from I Don't Like Mondays!

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    1. And we didn't get a flake, not that I'm complaining. Thanks for stopping by.

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